October 2011
1 post
The Nihari Principle
I was in Chicago this past weekend when a number of random and unrelated encounters suddenly revealed a pattern that I’m excited to share:
Where to start?
I was sitting at a cousin’s house one night - hanging out, playing cards, and out of the corner of my eye hawking NK as he devoured a plate of Nihari (a spicy, meaty, oily Pakistani dish that any self-respecting, brown-skinned...
September 2011
1 post
Why I Love Dance Class
I stepped back into a dance studio today for the first time since my days at the Seduction School in London (sounds more scandy than it actually is, don’t worry).
I also relived all of my awkward first moments today - being totally off-rhythm, laughing and looking around to see if anyone saw me, and secretly thanking the white girls in the room whose lack of any sort of ability to pop and...
August 2011
4 posts
Finding Relief in the Periphery
Most of you who know me can attest to the fact that I have a hard time focusing on pretty much anything but I’m pretty good about spreading myself around and getting involved in lots of random things - writing, art, school, dance, volunteering, traveling, etc etc etc. It’s how I roll. But everyone now and again as I run through life I find that my sleeve sometimes snags on nasty...
The Inequity of Never
As I was lying on my bed, contemplating life and avoiding this damn Texas heat some thoughts began to plague me.
I’m not one to be “sad” in life and most things don’t phase me much. Stuff happens, good and bad, and you learn to deal with it as it comes, appreciate the good times and take the not-so-awesome times in stride because, in all likelihood, the Big Guy is...
July 2011
1 post
Untitled, On Purpose...Sort of
Look at me, I’m a hot mess.
It’s been 20 minutes and I have yet to think of a title, a clear idea, or even a first sentence.
I suppose this is one of the pitfalls of leading a whimsical life. Most of the time though, it’s awesome:
I wake up on any given day and have an inclination to focus on one area of play more than another. For example, for the past year or two I have had little desire to...
June 2011
1 post
May 2011
4 posts
The Story of the Missing Painting
A long, long time ago (2007) in a far away land (Chicago) a younger version of a really fly girl (me) sat down in a room full of really smart adults for her very first adult meeting.
Uncouth as she was, she used the pen and pad in front of her not to note down the insightful comments she wasn’t about to make but rather to let her hand and heart wander together creating calligraph bliss....
Me and Ms. Zahra
I am morphing and I don’t know how I feel about it.
Last week I found myself helplessly cast as the victim of an unfair conversation. Twice!! The conclusion: I played the “You’re mean and hurting my feelings” card on the first go-round, and “Okay, sorry for disturbing you even though I’m not really disturbing you at all but really calling because I need a friend but I’ll just try again later...
Ohh...Wait, You're a Teacher? So...What Do You...
Right.
Sometimes when you ask this question, I want to punch you. I’m a teacher…what do you think I do??? Is that a joke?
And then you say something dumb like, “wait you get paid to do that?” or “yeah I know you teach but like, that’s only for a couple hours a day so you probably like sit around the other 6 hours” or “I mean, I have a REAL...
February 2011
1 post
Heeyyyyy! How's Atlanta?
I’m almost embarrassed to continue typing.
Actually, I AM embarrassed to continue typing. Why I have been away so long, I cannot tell you. Between papers, and weddings, and random trips to South America (it was awesome), and family affairs, it has been a whirlwind of days and weeks. And once I put the “pen” down, I cannot, for the life of me, seem to be able to fluidly pick it...
November 2010
2 posts
“Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out...”
– Rumi (via NF)
Imagine if we remembered that every morning…
A Justification...Or a Fact?! Dun Dun Dunnnn
My Gchat status: "I suck at life"
FH: no you dont.
why would you say that, silly.
me: yeah i do
today i do
because i have written ONE whole percent toward my final thesis
when i need to write 15 todahy
FH: so again you dont suck at life
my theory is that you are actually very good at life
i.e. you love life
and this paper bullshit just gets in the way
ergo,
change your status to "I'm too good at life."
are you shocked into epiphanous silence?
i thought so.
*******************************************************
i
October 2010
3 posts
I'm Swelling Dude...
…with I don’t know - a really good feeling. Pride, maybe?
It’s almost 4am and I can’t sleep again. So I’m on facebook browsing the latest updates and I absolutely love what I see. Let me give you a sample:
Random status update.
Some fun pictures.
Random status update.
BAM - a clip from NPR about someone making a positive impact in the world.
Random status...
“oh man
u are a machine
remember this
an inspired machine
that isnt really a...”
– ST, in her own awesome way, attempting to motivate me to keep writing this paper.
I am a soulful, inspired machine. I AM, goshdarnit!
September 2010
3 posts
The First Day of the Rest of My Life
As unbelievably tired as I am right now, I know that this is a moment in my life that I must not let pass without some type of acknowledgment and reflection.
Just a few hours ago I completed my first class as professional, paid Religious Education teacher. For me, this is a huge deal and it has been a long time in the making. From my days as a counselor at summer camps to my winters and springs...
Why I Don't Miss You
Barring the use of technology to communicate across the globe, I realized why it is that I don’t miss the people that I love and care so deeply about even though I no longer have any physical interaction with them…
(at the risk of sounding cheesy…)
…See, I like to surround myself with friends who I respect and admire. I see qualities in them that challenge the way that I...
Benchmarks the Spot
In light of recent events in my life, I have come to realize that I lack some serious ability to choose right from wrong and that often I let my desires and wants drive my actions. By day, I dream about fighting temptation, defending the principles behind my actions like an ethical superhero. By night I embody the characteristics of the very villain I banished just hours before.
We all make...
August 2010
1 post
July 2010
4 posts
“Happiness is never a negative affair; it is to be won by men who are fully...”
– Aga Khan III, on joie de vivre :)
Class Dismissed
It’s that time of year again when my personality goes through it’s yearly spring cleaning. Ramadhan is around the corner (woo hoo!) and the pretty weather generally makes me overly reflective anyway - the perfect setting for loads of conversations and thoughts centering around how to be a better me from here on out.
And lately, there’s two things that I keep coming back to:
1....
26 y.o. Pleads Guilty to Arson; Feels Remorse
I’ve burned enough bridges during my short stay here on Earth and right now, I’m feeling particularly unhappy about that.
I mean, I know that when I’m upset I swear that there must be no purpose for the other side besides destroying my dignity so of course, burning the bridge that connects me to such a potentially dangerous force is not only the smart and responsible thing to...
A Perfect Weekend in Londontown
As my days here whittle down, I am both excited to move on to the next adventure and yet still clamoring to savor what’s left of this one. And let me tell you, a summer in Londontown makes my clamoring worthy of a full-time job.
Take this weekend, for example…
Saturday, 4:30am - Eyes closed, feeling the room fill with daylight through the lattice-worked windows of Centre khane. I...
June 2010
2 posts
26 y.o. Found Diseased After Following Advice Too...
I know a lot of people who like to throw out cliched pieces of advice to who ever is within earshot: “You always order the same thing every time! Be a little adventurous!” or “You should really live in the moment!” etc, etc.
It annoys me - mainly because I let it influence me and, in typical Zahra-fashion, I then take this advice to the extreme until my own judgment...
Displaced Dorothy
Do you know why it has been over three months since my last post?
It’s not that I don’t have time. It’s not writer’s block. I didn’t forget this existed. I have plenty of material.
I just sometimes lack the courage it takes to face what’s happening in my life, to gather my thoughts, reflect on them, understand them enough to be able to make sense of it all and...
March 2010
6 posts
In One Year You'll Be Glad You Started Today
A couple nights ago I ran into an old colleague (OC) of mine that I haven’t seen or talked to in almost seven years (seven YEARS!!!) and it gave me cause to stop for a minute and think back to the Zahra that was…
Seven years ago, and more particularly, at the time that I met OC I was a very, very different person. In fact, it was because of my interactions with OC and the rest of my...
“If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of...”
– Donald D. Quinn via my favorite art teacher, Fe. That’s for all you suckas who were not so pleased with my change in careers.
One is the Strongest Number
We all have our own ways of dealing with the things that happen in our life - be they good, bad or confounding. Some people write it out, some people bury it deep and never talk about it, and others, like myself, understand the world and the things that happen around us by talking it out.
And here, I’ve gotta say, I am unbelievably blessed with the multitude of absolutely amazing ears and...
The Price of Peace
I opened my browser the other day and my eyes flashed across my homepage - BBC’s world news site. The breaking news involved a death toll and pictures from Mother Nature’s latest slap: a massive, 8.8-on-the-Richter-scale earthquake in Chile.
This follows a devastating earthquake in Haiti and floods in Northern Pakistan.
A few months ago when Haiti was first hit, I remember talking to K4 with a...
Antics at Windsor Castle
HS: Hey! Let's try to get this guard at the castle to laugh.
(These are the famous guards who aren't allowed to show any expression whilst on duty for the Queen.)
HS: How do you turn a fox into a cow?
Guard: (silence.)
HS: You MARRY it!!!!! haahahhahahaha
Guard: (grunt!!!)
ahahahahahah we got him to grunt!!!!
whatever it was funny.
February 2010
5 posts
“Don’t just like.
Like is watered-down love.
Like is mediocre.
Like is the...”
– via RK who got it from a Blackberry ad…makes me miss my old job.
Now What?
It’s been about five hours since my nine-day adventure with my brother and VK has ended and so far I’ve already engrossed myself in a book, met up with NH, and attended a pretty funny comedy show.
I literally did not even pause - actually I did everything in my power not to pause. I speed walked from the terminal at Heathrow to the Underground and allowed my brain to be preoccupied...
On Newton's Theory of Relativity
I used to dread physics - I barely made it through that class and, consequently, it’s not as useful to me as it might have been had I paid more attention. But, nonetheless, there is one sentence, one rule that even today echoes in my mind with alarming frequency - Newton’s third physical law of motion that states, “Every action must have an equal and opposite reaction.”
So...
“There is a Native American parable about a grandfather who says, “I feel...”
– via the ever-spiritual FH.
I Hear a Symphony...
(Apologies for the long silence…some how any explanation I try to type just doesn’t suffice so I’m going to move on.)
Today is my birthday.
Believe it or not, that was a difficult sentence to type. Birthdays have always held a very tremulous place in my heart. I know that they are celebrated with love and joy and happiness when we are younger, but as we get older I notice less...
January 2010
1 post
“Oh Allah, when I lose my hopes and plans, help me remember that your love is...”
– Imam Ali, a.s.
November 2009
4 posts
Happy Birthday, Blog
I realized that about a week or so ago, I hit the one year mark on this blog.
This is a HUGE deal!
Writing and I have had a love-hate relationship for most of my life and it is just recently that I have come to realize how much I actually DO love writing, and more importantly, how much sharing this writing is not as terrifying as I originally imagined.
Last year, when I decided to start keeping...
"You're So Brave!"
…Says my former student as we march to the front section of the prayer hall, half way through ceremonies.
Just picture it - it’s bad enough having to walk through the outer hallway which is lined with people who don’t want to enter the internal prayer space once the ceremonies have started. But then, once you get inside and sit your late butt down at the back corner where you...
Lab Rat
In Chem labs, rats are made to run around and carry out the experiments of many a mad scientist. The one that I remember laughing about the most was when you put a lab rat in a box, put some cheese on the other side and attach a little electric shocker to it. The rat smells the cheese, runs to it, tries to eat it and then… ZAP! It gets shocked with the little buzzer.
And then, 5 seconds...
Information Brat
My lesson planning group just finished brainstorming for this Saturday’s class which centers around nature, God’s creation, and the limitations of human capability. It’s quite poignant, really. We’re tossing around all these ideas, trying to bring in creative, multimedia options when all of a sudden I remember this awesome, awesome video about the earth - it zooms in and...
October 2009
5 posts
The "List"
I am loving home!
I am also realizing, as much as I love home - be it Chicago or the U.S. in general, I am really, truly going to sorely miss London when I leave. I’m going to miss the crazy flavored crisps/chips, the fact that sweetcorn is added to everything, and the absolutely insane abundance of all things Indian. I’ve really come to love London and all its quirky bits and I must...
Operation Matter Over Mind?...!
If there is one thing I have come to realize about myself over the years it is that I am an unbelievably strong individual. Did you know that my legs can bench over 70 pounds?
Just kidding.
While I haven’t faced any major life-altering or tragic events (thank God), I have felt the struggle of my heart, mind, body, and soul in a number of ways over the years. Each time, I bear the burden: I...
25 y.o. Suffers from Age Regression; Suspected...
I’m sitting next to AM, my 28-year old classmate, and I am scratching and smacking him as we sit in our Wednesday class trying not to
OW
He just pinched my leg! And now he’s telling me about how his jeans are too tight and I’m trying REALLY hard not to laugh or scream.
We’re trying not to die of boredom. It’s sort of working.
Despite the fact that we’re both...
Painting a Picture
Quite a few months ago I saw a woman on the tube. She wasn’t young.
She looked a little mousy - super thin, hunched over, and a little worse for the wear. What stuck out about her, and the reason I remember her and why she got me thinking in the first place, is that she had long, bright pink hair and some super chunky boots.
It was totally uncharacteristic according to the impression I had...
25 y.o. Ailing After Roller Coaster Joyrides;...
I remember lying on my bed one evening talking to NM on the phone when he mentioned something curious.
He said he was always skeptical of a girl who was really bubbly and happy all the time, or at least one who appeared that way. Being someone who is often characterized by those two adjectives more than any others, I wondered why he would say such a thing. Did he believe we were actually sadistic...
September 2009
9 posts
Who Loves Change?
Me! MEE!
I especially like this new theme because it’s interactive - you can use the little box on the top right to change the colors. How cool!! I’m totally tactile - I love to touch, pick up, change, manipulate, tweak, pinch, zip/unzip, and twirl anything I can get my hands on (I am sure that those of you who have suffered from my hands-on tendencies are nodding your heads right...