Painting a Picture
Quite a few months ago I saw a woman on the tube. She wasn’t young.
She looked a little mousy - super thin, hunched over, and a little worse for the wear. What stuck out about her, and the reason I remember her and why she got me thinking in the first place, is that she had long, bright pink hair and some super chunky boots.
It was totally uncharacteristic according to the impression I had made of her based on the rest of her appearance. How does that work? Logistically speaking, she would have had to make her way to the hairdressers - or maybe to the local beauty shop - sat in a chair, and dyed her hair pink.
I mean, it’s a process. It doesn’t just happen. Which means that she must have put thought into it. Her long, bright pink hair was a conscious choice which leads me to think this choice was probably one part of a longer thought process about how this woman wanted to present herself.
This is so baffling to me.
After I saw this woman, I started paying more attention to other people as well. Those men with the dozen piercings and killer mowhawks, the women with the striped black-and-hot-pink socks matched with clown/dominatrix boots and yellow mini-skirts - all of it. All of these people got up in the morning and put time and effort into their appearance, no matter how much they wanted to give off the impression that they’re too cool to be into fashion. Even grunge was thoughtful choice. You can consciously choose to not shower as much as you choose TO shower.
It might sound kind of obvious to you, but it was a bit of a revelation to me…Apparently, I am not the only one that stares into her closet in the morning.
All of us who dress ourselves, whether it’s in Gothic/Camden chic, high fashion, or hoodies and jeans, make a choice about what we put on our bodies and thus, what image we present to others.
This has been swirling around in my head for months.
Pair this line of thinking with my current one: what motivates our clothing choices when it comes to attracting the opposite sex?
This thought flashed across my brain sometime back when a bunch of friends went out to the clubs. I was with a girl who is super cool, intelligent, pretty, and has a fantastic - I’m talking killer - body. That night she chose to wear a dress that most respectable people - certainly anyone I associate with - would not be caught dead in, and perhaps wouldn’t particularly want to be near the person actually in it. She’s not a slut, but she sure as hell looked like one. Towards the end of the night, a guy walked past her and casually asked if he could take her home.
Ew.
Seriously, ew. Why would you put yourself in clothes that scream bimbo with no brain? That guy would not in a million years approach her if he actually knew her - either because she’s too cool, or because the rest of her personality doesn’t reflect the interests or tendencies of the rest of the girls that dress like that. All my life I have carried around a body that would NEVER get that kind of reaction from anyone. And I will admit, there have been times when I wish I did. But after that night my thinking totally changed: I wouldn’t feel hot - I would honestly feel absolutely insulted. There are way too many reasons you SHOULD be taking me home and none of them can be discovered while walking past me as you check out the T&A on display.
There is A LOT of power in the way we dress - do we even realize it? I can elicit interactions with a certain type of person based on the fabric on my body. Which makes me think - should I start dressing based on the type of attention I want and who I want it from? Isn’t that partly what we do anyway? Or are you supposed to “dress for yourself!” (Cue cheesy grin and a thumbs up for your self-esteem. Ew.)
Can we ever actually dress for ourselves? Should we? If I dressed for myself, would I always be in sweats, or would I still be rockin’ the look I normally walk around in? I don’t even know anymore…
High-achiever lit will tell you to dress for the job you want, not the one you have. Does that apply to people? Should I dress like someone who is materialistic if I want to bag a sugardaddy? If I wear a lot of jewelry does that automatically make the average bloke think I am materialistic and thus inhibit him from even trying?
Naive ones say that all of this extra stuff has nothing to do with anything - “just be yourself.” But I’m beginning to think that the smart kids are the ones who realize that there are certain tools you can really wield to your advantage - if you know it will get you what you want faster, why not use them? Better they work for you than against…
