Untitled, On Purpose…Sort of
Look at me, I’m a hot mess. It’s been 20 minutes and I have yet to think of a title, a clear idea, or even a first sentence. I suppose this is one of the pitfalls of leading a whimsical life. Most of the time though, it’s awesome: I wake up on any given day and have an inclination to focus on one area of play more than another. For example, for the past year or two I have had little desire to read. However, as of a few weeks ago I’m suddenly itching to get my hands on every piece of written word my eyes can devour. On other days, I’m obsessed with sketching out calligraphy. In those moments, I drive to the nearest art supply store and have my way with the pastel counter. I appreciate this lifestyle because it allows me to naturally address each of my interests when the time is right. There is no need to make a decision about what to pursue or a feeling of guilt because I’m neglecting an area. I just go with the flow and enjoy the flavor of the day. However, this becomes problematic when: - I am commissioned to produce a product relating to one of these interests. I can’t do it on command, that’s part of the magic. I also feel like this basically means I don’t belong to this society, which revolves around commanding others to do one’s will. Oops. - I want to have a say in the matter. Though I am generally not very picky and happy to do whatever my hands desire, there are some days when I don’t want to float anyone else’s boat, not even…mine? Hmm.. - When my circumstances allow for the pursuit of one interest over another. (i.e. now that I feel like reading for pleasure, I’m overwhelmed by required reading by an outside force.) I WANT to write, dear friends. I want to have thoughts worth expressing. I want to be able to formulate them in a way that is accessible and interesting and relatable. I want to feel the inspiration course through my fingertips as they pound away on my silver keyboard. But alas, as one who has chosen the life of a Type B, happy-to-be-here, I’m-down-for-whatever type of gyal, I’m just saying…it might be awhile before the Divine Spirit decides to stop icing me out of what I’ll never admit is my actual favorite inclination. (Yes, writing, I not-so-secretly just confessed how much I actually enjoying engaging with you. Blushing is appropriate.)
